been having a lot of nightmares lately
I can’t remember everything but it started out as this recurring dream I always have about forgetting things in my schedule. Started having them when I was going to nova and I would dream that I forgot I was enrolled for a class for like 2 weeks, then show up to class and be failing. Pretty scary. It happened with my job that I start on Saturday this time. After already having poor work performance and my boss complaining all day on my very first shift, I forgot I was scheduled for 2 days in a row. I just accepted that I was unemployed.
I’m walking out of the store and see a child playing inside of the rack holding rubber balls. He throws a ball out of the rack that lands, bounces, and rolls to my feet. I pick it up and toss it back in where it slips out of his hands, as he tries to catch it. I continue walking and notice 2 more balls sitting on shelves that the child must have also thrown. I set my phone down on a table displaying jean pants, pick up both cumbersome balls, and walk over to toss them in their home. As I turn around I notice someone shuffling their hands near my phone. I walk back over and don’t see my phone. An old man wearing a leather jacket and slacks has his back to me. “Hey! I saw you take my phone!” the man turns around and looks at me, puzzled. “I saw you!” I said, as he reaches into his pocket.
“I was just trying to see if it fit this phone case” he said, removing a black, plastic case from his right pocket.
I turn around and notice my phone sitting on top of a pair of navy blue jeans.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry” I said to him “This is really embarrassing, I’m so sorry about that”
In a friendly attitude the man responded “That’s quite alright” and went on his way.
I step outside, noticing an orange and pink sunset and stop to look. I notice a large crowd of people all staring as well. The crowd is somewhat strangely huddled together but the sunset is captivating. They probably didn’t even realize the formation they took.
I see the old man walk passed me and then towards the parking lot. He’s about 30 feet away from me when he stops and turns around. He’s staring at the huddle of people. Along the ground I notice several black tubules. I look up and see that there are too many of them to count. Those were not here when I walked into the store, I think to myself. The man is frozen, staring still. I step close to inspect one of the tubules, when I hear an inexplicably loud clap. I look up and see the crowd huddled even closer. Impossibly close. Beyond touching, they’re fusing with each other. I look at the old man and notice his hands are raised now. I hear another clap and the mass of bodies folds over itself, creasing about the middle of the group. People are lifted up into the air as the entire huddle closes like a book. Everyone in the amalgamation claps again, along with the old man. I hear another rhythmic clap as a smaller group of people nearby fuses into a folding mess of body. Ticking every second, like the hand of a clock, I hear another clap. The masses are folding over every second but they’re getting… smaller. I see the smaller mass contorting into a stretched out, zig-zaging structure, like a craftless, unevenly rolled piece of dough.
The smaller group stops folding over itself. I walk closer to it and notice that the twisted up mass is covered in fingers. I can’t see any anatomical tissue that is not a finger.
I look over at the larger mass and see that it is still shrinking, as limbs and faces disappear and only fingers remain on the blob. The folding stops and with it, nobody is clapping anymore. I look down at the smaller body of compressed people laying at my feet. I bend over to touch it and it latches on to my skin. It begins folding over and across my body. I try to remove it but it’s already fused.
I sprint home.
On my way back I see wrecks and cars stopped in the middle of the road. I see a car driving as I pass an intersection. Then stopping.
Starting.
Stopping.
At the same tempo as the clapping from earlier.
I turn onto my street as a hand wraps over my face, covering my eyes. I can see out of my left eye still, between an index and middle finger. I get near my house and see my neighbor run towards me. I’m trying to pull the hand off my face. It’s elastic but it’s a part of me now. It folds over my face again.
It’s dark now.
wow
im actually doing something with my life
I feel like if I didn’t have feelings I’d be perfect
people really think water isn’t wet because some guy on youtube said so and that shit honestly stresses me out
i can’t wait to move to rva. maybe I’m delusional but i think ill meet really cool people and create some meaningful relationships and that is incredibly exiting
i wonder how mariah is doing. i still think about her a lot and that’s a strange thing to admit
i was doing my math excercises a little while ago and it was fun…
i have to confine these thoughts to my tumblr or im gonna be ridiculed by my friends and fam
fr though u ever just do math and it makes sense and you feel really happy? thats me today
wind
wind is cold because our bodies are hot and the heat that flows outwards from them creates a low pressure environment around our skin. since low pressure air is less conductive than high pressure air, our bodies are able to retain more heat. when a breeze blows around your body, the air pressure is re-normalized and the air becomes more conductive again and thus a breeze feels cool even though it generates heat.
weird that the last time i posted something was to say that i was lonely and now i feel completely different
regardless of this potential romance, i don’t feel lonely when I’m alone anymore
kinda neat
that im generally happy and am becoming the person i want to be bc my Tumblr used to be me only complaining
but now i know what i want to do with my life and that’s really cool and i actually love myself for being interested in physics and taking that career path seriously